


king and lionheart

by fiveminutemajor



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, cale's hands as a plot device, it's a little confusing sorry, kind of sad and kind of happy ending, mentions of erik johnson and tyson jost and andre burakovsky, nate's coffee table has seen So Many things, travis konecny's legendary chirps, tyson barrie the gay therapist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 16:33:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22079983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiveminutemajor/pseuds/fiveminutemajor
Summary: in which nate never knows what to say or even what he feelsalternativelynate doesn't even realize he likes guys until tyson lets him know he's got a big fat crush on cale makar
Relationships: Nathan MacKinnon/Cale Makar
Comments: 6
Kudos: 70





	king and lionheart

**Author's Note:**

> hi! normal intro things like;  
> \- if you or anyone you know is mentioned in this fic, please click away! this is purely fiction!  
> \- this is a non-linear narrative. there is a beginning, a four part middle, a two part end, and an epilogue.  
> \- the song of the fic is king and lionheart by of monsters and men. i highly recommend you listen to it while reading!
> 
> enjoy!

the end.

Look. Nate didn’t mean for it to come out like that. But it had, and now here they were. Cale stood in front of him, open-mouthed and teary-eyed, and fuck Nate was going to be making up for this forever. He reached out to touch Cale’s shoulder, but he dodged Nate’s hand. Cale shook his head and wiped his eyes somberly. 

“Fine, Nate. That’s just fine.” He said. With that, he turned on his heel and walked away, leaving Nate’s heart shattered in pieces on the floor.

-

the beginning.

The season had started off hot. The team was clicking, everyone was on fire, and Nate was melting the ice they played on. 

Then they had a bad game against the Blues, and another bad game, and another and-

They were losing and it hurt. Nate knew they could be better than this, they had been better, they would be better. They scratched and clawed their way into a playoff spot, and then there he was.

Nate wasn’t oblivious, he’d seen Cale’s highlight reels from UMass and he’d looked into his stats when they’d drafted him, but he wasn’t expecting this.

Cale rode in like a knight in shining armor, ready to save the Avs in distress. He was coasting on the adrenaline of the Frozen Four and now playoff hockey. Nate had been expecting good hockey. He was prepared for good hockey. He wasn’t, however, expecting Cale to be so overwhelmingly nice and mature.

There were other things Nate wasn't prepared for. The way he couldn't look away from Cale's hands when he unlaced his skates. When Cale got mobbed by press, the protective instinct that surged up in his chest. The small smile that found it's way onto Nate's face when he looked at Cale. 

Cale had a mean slapshot and Nate wasn't braced for impact.

-

the third part of the middle.

“Nate, no, we are absolutely not going to do that.” Cale said, and Nate pouted. There had been a weird energy ever since the party at Nate’s and Cale had been avoiding him, and everything was going to shit. They were winning some and losing some and nothing was clicking. Nate had tried everything he could think of to get Cale to talk to him.

Cornering Cale in the locker room hadn’t gone well. Squeezing in next to him at a bar when the team was out celebrating a hard-fought win had gone about as well as it could have, except for the part where Nate had to down a beer whenever he met Cale’s eyes. He could have just asked Cale to lunch, but Nate didn’t have the guts to ask Cale to go to something that looked too much like a date (that he so desperately wanted).

So there they were during practice, leaning against the glass and taking a break from drills, and Nate had just asked Cale to go bowling. Bowling, for crying out loud. Wow, Tyson was right, Nate is a clown. 

“Please? C’mon Cale, it’ll be fun!” Nate wasn’t sure why he was pushing the bowling agenda.

“Mmm, no. But I will let you take me out to lunch.” Cale winked and skated away, leaving Nate in the dust wondering when everyone else left him behind. 

-

the second part of the middle.

Maybe body shots was a bad idea, and maybe Nate was too drunk to stop it.

Gabe had suggested it, because what bad idea doesn't start with a glint in their captain's eye. Cale, having just turned 21 and having scored an incredible goal in the game, was Gabe's intended target. The party was at Nate’s house because of course it was. Mel said absolutely nobody was to be in her house unless they were completely sober and planning on staying that way. That’s how Nate came to be standing in his living room watching Gabe beg Cale to let people drink tequila out of his belly button. 

With the proper amount of goading and a little bit of bribery, Cale conceded and took off his shirt. Which shouldn’t have been a capital t Thing for Nate. He’d seen Cale in varying degrees of undress in the locker room, but here it felt different. He watched the muscles in Cale’s back ripple as he laid down on Nate’s coffee table. He was entranced by the ever-present flush in Cale’s cheeks.

Suddenly Gabe was at his side, urging him towards Cale. Nate’s mouth ran dry when he made eye contact with the rookie. Cale’s perfectly pink mouth was curved in a teasing smile and Nate was gone. He downed the last of the beer and walked over to slot himself between Cale’s legs. Nate very pointedly did not think of another scenario where Cale would be under him like this. Gabe poured the tequila, Josty sprinkled a little salt on Cale’s chest, and Burky gingerly placed a lime between Cale’s lips. So that’s how this was going to go.

When Nate made eye contact with Cale, he felt a lot drunker than he actually was. His memories of the rest of the night were as follows:  
1.) The way the tequila tasted like heaven,  
2.) the noise Cale made when Nate dared to lick below his belly button,  
3.) how Cale shivered when Nate made his way up his chest,  
4.) the spark of electricity when he took the lime, and  
5.) the dazed look in Cale’s eyes when he sat up.

-

the first part of the middle.

It seemed like everyone knew about Nate’s thing for Cale before either of them. If Nate hugged Cale a little longer than everyone else in the goal celly huddle, so what? He was proud of his rookie! If Nate didn’t go out with the team unless Cale would be there, who cares? They just have similar mindsets! 

EJ called it excuses, Gabe called it denial, but Nate wasn’t so sure they knew anything about the situation. A third opinion was needed, so Nate went to the person who knew him better than anyone else. He facetimed Tyson.

“The Dogg! What’s up man?” Tyson answered with an amount of energy that would be concerning if it came from any other living thing. Nate answered with an unflattering groan and sat down on his couch, kicking his feet up on the coffee table. 

“Oh so it’s that kind of facetime? I should have known you only need me when you’re having boy troubles.” Tyson laughed and Nate was hit with a sudden pang of homesickness, missing a part of him that was currently 1500 miles away. Then Nate realized what Tyson said and spluttered.

“Bo- Boy troubles? What do you mean?” He coughed out.

“Oh, Nate. You really think I don’t know? You’re very obvious.” Tyson said in his ‘I’m pretending to be patronizing but in reality I’m trying really hard not to laugh’ tone. 

“Obvious about what?”

“You’re a clown Nate, honestly.”

"A clown? What does that even mean, Brutes?" Nate was more than a little bewildered. Tyson always seemed to be more in touch with everything - emotions, other people, new culture - than Nate. It was part of the reason why he'd called Tys in the first place.

"You're a clown because you clearly have some feelings you need to work out." Tyson stated matter-of-factly and popped a cheeto in his mouth because he was never good at sticking to a diet plan.

“I don’t have feelings.” Nate seethed, and then he remembered something. “Or boy problems, whatever the hell that means.”

“Oh are you still in gay denial?” Tyson frowned. “Nate, I thought we’d worked past that.”

“What do you mean ‘gay denial’? I’m straight, Tys. Straight people can’t have gay denial.”

“Oh no. This is worse than I thought. Way, way worse. We’re gonna have to do a complete rebuild. Get your inner bi to come out. Literally.” Tys was talking more to himself than Nate, looking off in the distance.

“What are you talking about, Tys? I just told you, I’m straight-” Nate began to protest but Tyson cut him off.

“What do Cale’s hands look like?” Tyson said calmly, but there was a glint in his eye that Nate knew not to trust.

“What?” Nate nearly shrieked. “What does Cale have to do with this? And why hands?”

“Nate, trust me. Describe. Cale’s. Hands.” Nate could feel his face heat up.

“Well, his fingers are kinda long, and he’s really careful with stuff- delicate, I mean. And there’s a little mole on his right hand-”

“Okay Nate,” Tyson stopped him with a laugh, “now describe my hands.”

“Um, they’re hands. I guess.” Nate shrugged, he didn’t really see the point of whatever Tyson was doing.

“Okay and what’s the difference?” Tyson prompted and Nate shrugged again. 

“I don’t know, you tell me. You clearly seem to think you know all of my emotions.” Nate said, a little too harshly, and he watched Tyson’s smile falter. “I mean, you do, know me. Better than I know myself sometimes.” The corner of Tyson’s mouth quirked up and he was back.

“Yeah, exactly. I do know you better than you know yourself because you’re clearly in gay denial”

“Am not!” Nate protested like a five year old.

“Are too!” Tyson shot back. “Look me in the eyes - or screen, I guess - and tell me with 100% certainty that you don’t want Cale to use those hands for something else.” He waggled his eyebrows in a supremely unsexy way and Nate blushed further. Nate was about to repeat Tyson’s words when he realized something.

“I- I can’t. I can’t do that Tys!” Nate dropped his phone on the couch next to him and put his head in his hands.

“And why’s that?” Nate could hear Tyson’s ‘I told you so’ smirk in his voice and it was nearly unbearable.

“..because it’s not true.” Nate said, the words coming out muffled.

“Because it’s not true. Ta da! There you go, no more gay denial!”

“I’m not gay, Tys.” Nate said, but it came out half-hearted.

“Yeah, but you are bi!”

“I’ve never even thought of a guy like -that- before!”

“Oh my god is Cale your bi awakening? I love that so much for you!” Tyson seemed unaware of the crisis Nate was going through, so he promptly hit the end call button. He was going to hear about it later but there were more important things circling around Nate’s mind.

Like what Tyson had said, about wanting Cale’s hands to do other things. Years of being best friends had apparently given him a psychic link to the deepest parts of Nate’s thoughts, because Nate had definitely thought about it before. It’s completely normal to think about your teammate like that, right? Picturing their hands and lips and eyes, god, those eyes-

Nate had to take a very, very cold shower that night.

-

the fourth part of the middle.

Cale’s smile was intoxicating. It was an addictive drug that Nate couldn’t get enough of. Everything Nate did was only an attempt to see that quirk of Cale’s lips. Even scoring became a way to get close to Cale in the celly hug.

Cale was the sun, a bright and shining light of pure good. Nate was merely a planet orbiting around Cale’s greatness. There was a force of gravity linking the two together, in more ways than one.

They had gone on a few outings (neither of the pair had called them dates but that’s really what they were) and Nate had invited Cale over to his house to “hang out or whatever.”

Cale texted that he was two minutes away when Nate had a sudden thought. What if this wasn’t serious for Cale? What if he only wanted a casual thing? Unconsciously, the walls around Nate’s heart built themselves up again.

A knock on the door jilted Nate out of his mini-crisis and then there he was. Cale almost jumped into the house when Nate opened the door for him. His eyes were a little watery and something in Nate’s chest twisted a little painfully. 

“Hey.” He said softly, and Cale surged forward to catch Nate in a tight hug. Nate leaned his head on Cale’s and they stood there in the entryway for a long time. He held Cale like his life depended on it and tried to chase away everything troubling him.

\- 

right before the end.

“All I asked was if you wanted to take things a little more serious, Nate! You always blow things out of proportion!” Cale was yelling now, each word cutting Nate a little more. 

“I just know how the league is, how people are! They wouldn’t accept it, accept us!” Nate was trying to reason, but Cale wouldn’t listen.

“That never mattered. Other people’s opinions never mattered when it was just us. Why does it matter now? Why does it matter when I want to go from friends with benefits to something more? I think you’re afraid, Nate. I think you’re a coward.” Cale spat. He was angry - no, he was absolutely furious - Nate could see that. So Nate didn’t think and said the first thing he could think of to protect his heart.

“I can’t do this right now, Cale. I can’t do this anymore.”

-

an epilogue, of sorts.

Nate was right. Everything was a little overwhelming at first. There was so much negativity the first few weeks and it hurt. It hurt so much. But there was also an incredible wave of support. The signs fans made at games, the outpour of love on social media, the stories Nate would hear from kids. All of that made it so worth it. Everytime he taped his stick with the rainbow tape, Nate thought of everyone counting on him to prove the haters wrong. Hockey Is For Everyone, You Can Play, and all that.

They got chirped, sure. Most of them were not great.  
(One chirp stood out to Nate though, just after Cale scored the game-winning goal against the Flyers. Travis Konecny had sidled up to him as they skated toward the bench and said, “Can’t score a goal, so you had to get your boyfriend to do it for you. How lazy can you get?” It had made Nate laugh and it was a nice reprieve from the normal selection of slurs.)

Everything was just better with Cale at his side. The highs were higher and the lows hurt a little less. Nate wasn’t perfect and he still said things he didn’t mean, but Cale understood him better than anyone (even Tyson) ever had. It was the two of them, ready to take on the world.

~“And as the world comes to an end  
I'll be here to hold your hand  
'Cause you're my king and I'm your lion-heart”~

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! i hope the format wasn't too confusing or weird and the epilogue made at least a little bit of sense.
> 
> kudos/bookmarks/comments always make my day so if you choose to do one of those things, thank you so much!!
> 
> anyways,  
> yeehaw lads


End file.
